So, by now everyone knows the catastrophe that is the BP oil spill. They’ve tried many things and  even named solutions James Bondesquely “Top Kill”, but it still failed. Millions of oil is going to waste and the environment is all going downhill. This slippery situation can be solved in three easy ways.

1) Wait for a Time Machine

This is the lazy way out. Rather investing money in trying to stop it now, invest it in time travel R&D. If every goes well, then we might have a time travel machine much sooner than expected. Go back in time and stop the failure. Success! AND we now have time machines. Win-win situation.

2) Make it a Free-for-All all you can scoop oil buffet

I’m sure there are mechanics and other oil companies crying themselves to sleep at night, because of this oil spill. I say, BP should let anyone be able to go and harvest their own oil out of the sea. Yeah, it might get a bit messy, but it is for the greater good.

3) Operation Plumbing

This is probably a no-brainer, but other oil companies should just start pumping more oil… and quick in fact. Especially those on the other side of the globe. This will equalize the oil quantity in the world, putting less pressure on BP’s vein. This might be a potential loss for BP, but I’m sure they have some Chinese derricks that just have to pump harder.

Honourable Mention: GM Animals

This plan was scrapped for ethical reasons, but BP should also invest money in genetically modifying fish that can digest oil.

Tags: bp, bp fail, disaster, massive amounts of oil, oil spill, sea
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This kid is the business. Every two year old in some country is envying this little blighter. They wish their parents were as callous… I mean cool, about his smoking habits. Like he smokes two packs a day. Little dude is a puffing machine. And he has already developed brand loyalty, smoking only a preferred brand.

He is probably getting some mad hugs from chicks his age, making all the other toddlers jealous. The dudes his age, probably either have to start smoking to fit in, but their parents will stop them, but they’ll probably rebel and listen to some Led Zep. Perhaps break some toys.

This smoking kid is cool beyond his years. Peer pressure ain’t got nothing on him. He MAKES peer pressure. A leader and a visionary. Live fast, die young. Chick dig the badass vibe. This kid has got life already figured out, that’s probably why the parents don’t worry.

I don’t even want to start talking about the older toddlers, whom are probably just starting school. They will feel so weak and conservative. This smoking kid will have a job by 4, mid-life crisis by 7 and be in the grave by 10.

(via @chrisdevilliers)

Tags: peer pressure, smoking, smoking two year old, young smoker
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London, a multi-cultural haven, has imported two aliens to become their mascots for the 2012 olympics. They seem to be from some gangsta galaxy, or have studied too much music videos trying to fit in. However, there were some concerns about Twitter users, even Simon expressed his concern on Twitter.

Are they really aliens or are those costumes really so good? Hypothetically speaking if they were aliens, then their skins are really well created, as if they evolved to one day fool humans. Wenlock and Mandeville, are also odd choices for names. Yeah, yeah, silly back story about girders and dropping metal, but really Wenlock and Mandeville? I vote we change the names to ET and Invader Zim. At least they are somewhat more relateable than droplets of metal.

And what’s with those eyes. Are we supposed to be happy with that? The aliens should’ve realised we are not cycloptic beings. Time will tell, if this impending alien import will go down well, for now, I’m highly skeptical of their origin and purpose. Just don’t bring your kids close. Nightmares will be had.

(via MFM926)

Tags: 2012, london, mandeville, mascots, olympic, stupid mascots, wenlock
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If you’ve seen the movie 2012, you will know about Earth Crust Displacement. The devastating event that shifts continents left right and center due to some poles or something. How do magnets work? No-ones knows, but they’re definitely cataclysmic. The news on TV has just confirmed this. South Africa is now placed at South America. However, confused comments are popping up saying that some are still stuck in Africa.

I’m feeling nothing so far. My laptop is still is fine. I’m typing with speed to get the news out there. I spilled a glass of juice earlier today, was that a result of 2012? People need to calm down. I called a leading scientist and he explained after a using a fruit metaphor he claims that this is what Earth will look like within 48 hours.

Getting your families close. This is a dire time. But most of all, now is the time to cheat on Foursquare.

(via @FourFourTwo)

Tags: 2012, earth crust displacemnt, foursquare cheating, fruit end metaphor, south africa 2010, world cup
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Time is losing it’s hold on journalism. It’s100 most influential people list is the business. It inspires me and also puts people on my “to rob” list, however, what is this?

Least Influential People of 2010?

What the… this doesn’t make sense at all. It should’ve been named, Time Magazine’s Least Influential People in Influential Positions Who Didn’t Have As Much Influence As Expected. Julius Malema features in that? How? He darned have some influence under some groups. And Google Buzz? Huh, it’s not a person.

What about that guy… you know the guy, who nobody knows about, that guy you thought you saw once, but it was in your peripheral vision and looked like someone familiar, but in fact was just a dude. What about them Time? Are they on your list of Least Influential People of 2010? If I didn’t have this blog, I would’ve considered myself for the position of Least Influential People of 2010.

What’s next for Time? Will they keep slipping up like this… it’s not even a small error, they knew this will spark controversy amongst the people who nobody knows of, but then again, they’d be no threat… since yeah… they have no influence and all. Well played Time. Well played. Can’t wait for next year’s Most Average Influential People of 2011.

Tags: Google Buzz, Julius Malema, least influential people, most influential people, time, time magazine
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I’m a big fan of Archie Comics… not so much today, ’cause they cost a fortune here in South Africa, but I used to read them cover to cover when I was in primary school. It has now come to my attention that Archie comics will get a gay character. Now, I’m kinda in two camps (ha, get it?) on this one. Firstly, yeah, freshen up the series. Archie Comics has got one of the weirdest canons ever. They’re stuck in high school forever. Feels like a Twilight Zone episode and they go through the same Christmas (+ other holidays) every year, yet they never finish school. So, please yeah, introduce a new character. It’s one step in the right direction.

Secondly, why? Everyone is becoming so PC lately. Apparently, Veronica will fall in love with the gay dude, while he bats her. lol fail. I really don’t mind gay characters, but introducing one for the sake of new social standards feels like selling out, and by the way, in my opinion Jughead is a closet gay. Who runs away from chicks? C’mon!?

(thanks for the tip @Nico_Gous)

Tags: archie, comics, gay, kevin keller
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This is not a PC vs MAC debate. I’m not a fan of PC and I’m not a fan of MAC. I just use a PC, because it’s like religion: the one you’re born with is the one you’ll probably remain loyal too. My parents bought a PC, thus I use a PC. However, Apple is also awesome. Really innovative products and stylish too. Now Apple’s newest product, the Magic Mouse, has been revealed… Can someone say “teh lulz?”

Continue reading “Magic Mouse!” »

Tags: Apple, Mac, Magic Mouse, PC
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After a really lazy vacation me and Simon got up early for Coke Zero Fest this year. With a super psyched attitude we quickly loaded some petrol and off we went… or so we thought. After a quick whistle by the joggie we realized we had a puncture. Luckily they gave a speedy service and we switched the tyres and off we went. The venue was really easy to find, and oh my word was it an amazing venue. So beautiful: mountains and lush green scenery. However, to our sad realization when we arrived at 10:40 Die Heuwels Fantasties were already at it. They stated on their Facebook fan page they’d only start at 11h30. Slightly pissed we hastily found parking and ran to stage.

Continue reading “Coke Zero Fest 2009 – Cape Town Highlights” »

Tags: aKing, Cape Town, Casette, Coke Zero Fest, Die Heuwels Fantasties, Foto na Dans, highlights, Music, Oasis, Panic at the Disco, Snow Patrol, The Dirty Skirts, Zebra and Giraffe
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Dimitris Patmanidis, opened fire on fellow students in a college in Athens. According to this article, he had two handguns and a knife and wounded three people before shooting himself in the head.

Apparently he had rejections issue and went on a vengeance rampage. Now I for one am happy; they have not blamed video games.

Continue reading “Yet more crazy kids unleash” »

Tags: guns, Michigan, School, Shooting
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