Again, another post in the series of items that seem awesome, but in fact suck. Today’s item the brilliantly eye catching toy that I bet most kids bought, or at least envied. It’s usually made of an elastic see-through material and has a really sticky solution or substance on it that makes it… er… stick to other objects really well. Once, it’s stuck on an object, it’s yanked back, ready for another random object to laid victim of. The item is usually cheap, but alas how many children have been foiled by it’s pretensions.
Why it seems awesome
It’s like a slap in the face every time you hit something. That *splat* sound followed by a *slorp* when it’s yanked back sounds so inviting. You can hit things over and over: *splat slorp*, *splat slorp*, *splat slorp*. If you’re really skilled you can even yank items close to you. Damn, where’s my stapler… *splat slorp*. It’s like a Spidey web, but with less radioactive spiders.
Why it in fact sucks
Somehow you leave out the “that thing is actually really sticky” part in your equation. When the sticky hand is launched to a nearby target, it also attracts all other items in its vicinity: dust, hair, pubes, dirt etc. If you miss the target and it drops on the floor, that’s even worse. Bye-bye sticky hand, welcome impromptu cleaning device. The sticky solution can’t handle all the dust and dirt and within two days of heavy splatting and slorping, the thing ceases to stick.
If you really want to save your money, don’t buy it! However, if you’ve already bought it, roll it on your desk right before you chuck it away. You might be able to clean your desk with some leftover sticky space.
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